Starvation
by Festus Flare
Summary: Trapped in the Funhouse, Hajime was starving, tired, and desperate. However, Mikan appears, telling him that she has some food for him. Against his better judgement, he accepts. But maybe this was for the best, after all. [Minor AU]


**A/N: Just thought of making a short story featuring my favourite couple in the game. It's an AU where Mikan didn't kill in the third chapter (what happened there, I really don't care enough to think up an excuse). It's probably pretty boring and sickeningly sweet, but I'm not good at writing non-cliched romance, so eh. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"So… hungry…"

Hajime leaned against a wall at the lounge, trying desperately not to think of food. But it was hopeless. The grumbling of his stomach instantly reminded him that he was starving and that there was nothing he could do about it. He was getting desperate. Should he just give in and drink toilet water? Maybe the Final Dead Room really had an exit all along…

"No…" Hajime quickly shook his head "Can't… go there… Chiaki… warned me…"

But if he didn't do anything, he really might end up dead! Would Monokuma consider that as a murder? Or suicide? Would he let them out if someone dies that way?

He was honestly too scared to find out.

"H-H-Hajime…"

The voice brings Hajime out of his fatigue-induced daze. Looking around, he noticed Mikan peeking from around the corner. Out of everyone, she was probably one of the worst off in this situation. Her frail body couldn't handle the starvation, and it looked like she might fall over any moment now. It didn't help that her own mental condition wasn't any better even before getting trapped in this Funhouse.

Ever since the Despair Disease incident, Mikan's mind was… scarred, in lack of better terms. She kept switching between the cowardly, selfless person that Hajime knew her as and the laughing lovestruck maniac that terrified even Nagito. The disease had broken her. At random times, she would suddenly start laughing as she grabbed a nearby item and tried to murder someone with it. She was so scared of herself that she isolated herself from everyone, only appearing for their morning meetings before running back to her cottage. Nobody else minded. If it meant one less psycho trying to kill them, then they'd even tie her up themselves.

Hajime always felt that doing that was wrong, but he can't deny them. Mikan was unstable.

"Ah… What's wrong, Mikan…?" Hajime tried to smile, but even that was taking too much energy from him

"I-I… Uhm…" Mikan tried to find the words to say, her fists clenching the wall she was holding "I… h-have food…"

Hearing this, Hajime's eyes widened. She was lying. She surely must be lying. There was no way Mikan could have found food in this place if nobody else could. And there was no way Monokuma would have hidden them somewhere! But… the allure of finally getting to eat after so long… It was just too much!

Slowly revealing herself, Mikan carefully made her way to where Hajime was sitting and sat beside him. Her heart was racing as she twiddled with her thumbs and played with the hem of her dress. Hajime, on the other hand, was starting to get impatient. Where was the food? Was there any food? Or… was this actually…?

His eyes widened again, but this time out of fear.

Who was in control now? The clumsy nurse, or the despair obsessed maniac? Was this just a ploy for Mikan to kill him while he was weak? Because if it is, then Hajime totally fell for it hook, line and sinker. It was honestly pretty hilarious how easy it was to get him to drop his guard. Hunger does things to people, you know?

No, no! Why was he suspecting her now? They all promised to not kill each other! How would Mikan feel if she knew he was suspecting her?

"So… tired…" Hajime muttered once more

Struggling to even keep himself up, Hajime felt his body grow limp. He leaned over, resting his head on Mikan's shoulder. This made the nurse practically jump to attention. She was not ready for this!

"Aah—H-H-Hajime?" Mikan stuttered, finally managed to say something "Wh-What are-"

She couldn't even say anything more before Hajime had once again gone limp, now falling to lie right on top of her lap. She panicked, her face flushing red. Something like this was almost impossible for her to even dream of! And even if she did, it would probably quickly be dashed by the cruel reality that she was just a worthless piece of trash that Hajime would never even look at in that kind of way. He was probably insulted just by the mere thought of her having a crush on him…

She sighed. It was hopeless, wasn't it?

"I… I'll g-g-get the food…" Mikan muttered, a bandaged hand reaching for something in her apron

Hajime wasn't really sure if this was actually happening, but he was too delirious to find out. As he lay there, staring into the ceiling, he felt something drip onto his face. It was close enough to his mouth for his tongue to reach out to. Slowly licking it, he felt a slight coppery taste assault his taste buds. It was like he was licking a copper coin, except in liquid form. It didn't taste like anything he had ever eaten before, but who was he to complain? It was either this, or nothing at all. Mikan was a godsend!

More and more drops of that weird coppery liquid fell on his face, and Hajime was starting to get worried. What was it that Mikan was trying to feed him? Again, it didn't taste like food. Was it some kind of poison? Where would she even find poison? Maybe she could use her nursing skills to turn normal things into poison…

He scolded himself again. Stop doubting Mikan, dammit!

"I-I-I'm almost d-done…" Mikan said, but something about her voice just felt… off. It was like she was crying… "Y-You'll feel better… a-after this…"

That weird feeling in his stomach was screaming at him now. Get up, stop licking that weird liquid, stop Mikan!

In a panicked frenzy, Hajime rose from Mikan's lap, using his arm to wipe out what remained of that strange thing on his face. Looking at his arm, he couldn't hide the shock that was on his face. There was no mistaking that neon pink colour, or the very strong smell that Hajime was honestly surprised that he didn't notice till now, or the thick texture that he had touched before.

It was blood.

"Mikan…? What's-" Hajime turned to the nurse slowly, and once again his expression changed to one of absolute shock

Mikan was staring ahead with a blank look on her face, her eyes glazed over. In her hands was a scalpel, slicing through one of her arms as blood dripped from the long gash she had made herself. A few tears were starting to form in her eyes as she bit her tongue, trying her best not to scream. She was starting to make another cut, no doubt about to cut out a piece of her own flesh.

Was this the food that Mikan was talking about?!

"Mikan!" Hajime shouted, grabbing the nurse by the hand

The sudden action made Mikan drop the scalpel, making it clatter onto the floor. She watched as Hajime kicked the blade away from them. He quickly grabbed the arm that Mikan had cut, panicking as he started to think of ways to cover the injury and prevent any bleeding.

"Do you have bandages on you? Ah, maybe I could use my shirt to wipe away the blood. Were there tissues in the bedroom? Maybe the Deluxe Rooms! Chiaki's in one of them. Maybe she has them. I'll go ask her. Wait here, please! Don't move! Umm, apply pressure to the wound, I guess?!"

"Hajime…"

"What is it, Mikan?!" he reeled back, realising that he had just screamed at the nurse "Ah, sorry… But we just really need to clean this wound!"

Before Hajime could leave to find tissues, Mikan had already produced them from the pockets of her apron. She also had a roll of bandages in there. It shouldn't surprise him seeing as it was her talent and that she probably had them in case anyone got hurt, but Hajime still gasped when he saw the items. Maybe a small part of him was actually hoping she had some food on her?

No, it was probably his fear that she might have some other weapons in there as well…

"I-I… I'll t-teach you… how t-to properly apply them…"

Hajime just stared at Mikan's face, not taking his eyes off her for one second. It made the nurse very conscious of herself, and she tried to hide her face from his gaze. It was useless, though. And she soon had to look at Hajime as well.

"I'll do it,"

And so, Mikan carefully instructed Hajime about the ways to apply the bandages. He followed the instructions to the letter, keeping silent throughout the whole process. It was a shame that she didn't have any ointment, but it was the best she could do. They'll just have to properly clean the wound after they get out of the Funhouse.

"… Why?" Hajime finally said after so long

"Huh?"

"Why did you do it, Mikan?" he clenched his teeth, feeling a mixture of rage, confusion, and sadness wash over him "You… You were going to cut your own arm for me… Why?"

Mikan felt lost for words. How could she possibly answer that question? No matter what she says, Hajime would just yell at her. And then there was the scalpel. He would probably ask her how she got it. She wasn't ready to tell him that she had actually brought it along even before they were trapped here. He might think that she was planning a murder. Kazuichi would no doubt accuse her of that. Who's to say the others won't follow his example?

"Please… Mikan…" Hajime was begging her, his own eyes starting to water

More silence.

"I won't get mad…" Hajime finally said, his face softening up "Whatever it is your reason is, I'll forgive you."

"… You'll… forgive me?"

"Of course!" Hajime smiled, remembering all the times Mikan had rambled on and on about asking for forgiveness. It was probably the best way to get to her "I'm sure… that you had a good reason to do this… right?"

Mikan stayed quiet, watching intently as Hajime finished bandaging up her arm. It was very amateurish, and it could possibly untangle itself if she moved too much. But knowing that Hajime was the one that made it for her… she would treasure it till the day she died. And knowing her luck, it wouldn't be long from now.

 _It's a shame you have to kill Hajime for your Beloved…!  
_

No! Not that voice again! She can't fall to despair! She was having trouble understanding what was even real anymore. Was this world really a simulation? Did the world really end? Were they all really murderers? Letting her despair loving other half take over would just mean trouble for all of them!

"I… Ahh…"

She felt her body growing weaker from all the blood loss. Hajime quickly caught her before she could fall flat on the ground, though. She tried to hide her embarrassment, but her body was too weak. And so, she just allowed her face to slowly turn red.

"Whoa, there…!" Hajime, too, was starting to feel tired again. He was running purely on adrenaline now, and even that was starting to run out "Just take it easy… okay?"

"Mm…"

The two sat there once more, this time in silence. Every once in a while, somebody would pass by. But they were too tired to ask what was going on, so they simply walked past them. Sometimes, someone would give a comment. Fuyuhiko scolded them for doing indecent acts, and Chiaki cheered Mikan on. Aside from that, though, it was peaceful.

"… The… The reason…" Mikan started talking after about an hour of the two just sitting there "I was… going to cut my arm… a-and f-f-feed you my meat… was because I… I th-thought that you deserved it…"

"What…?"

Even Hajime was confused by that answer.

"I… I'm a monster…" Mikan started to tear up, but she was too weak and tired to wipe away her tears "I f-fell into despair… and t-tried to kill someone… Everybody… They were all s-scared of me. Even I was… Even I was s-scared of myself. B-But y-you still believed… You weren't scared… of m-me…"

"Of course…" Hajime smiled "You're my friend… I know that… you wouldn't really kill anyone…"

"S-So I thought… that you deserved to live m-more than I do… I d-didn't want you to die…! You d-deserved so much better…! If… If s-someone… If a m-m-monster could die so you could live on… then I'd gladly give my life for you!"

Hajime was shocked by Mikan's sudden confession. She was willing to give her life away, to use her own body as sustenance, for him? Surely she has to be joking, right? How could anyone ever think so lightly of their own lives?

But when Hajime turned to look her in the eyes, he knew that she wasn't lying.

Beads of tears started dripping down, one after another with no sign of stopping. Her mouth was open in a silent scream, trying desperately to shout out her sadness. But the words were all stuck in her throat, and all that's left is the look of someone who had given up on their life. Someone who was willing to die right there and then. Red, bloodshot eyes, stared into the ground, unwilling to even look at Hajime's face as she buried her face in her knees.

Seeing Mikan of all people like this; so afraid, so broken, so damaged… it hurt him. And so, Hajime did the one thing he should have done long ago when she had first started locking herself in her room.

He hugged her.

"W-Wha…?"

Mikan was surprised by the sudden close contact. A part of her wanted to push Hajime away, but another part of her wanted this to stay forever. Feeling his strong arms wrap itself around her neck, his cheek brushing against her rough unkempt hair, and his own heartbeat beating in tandem with her own, it was starting to calm her down. Her tears still fell, staining her cheeks and Hajime's back, but they weren't as plentiful as before. And more importantly, they weren't as filled with sadness as before.

"H-Hajime…?"

"You're not a monster!" Hajime shouted, once again using his very limited energy "You're not a monster, Mikan..."

"B-But I-"

"If you really were a monster, you wouldn't have thought of me, right?" Hajime carried on, still holding Mikan tightly in his embrace "You would have killed me… and you would have eaten me for yourself. But the fact that… that you even thought of me, and that you thought I deserved to live even more than you… it showed that you still care."

"I…"

"Please, Mikan," Hajime slowly let go of Mikan. A small frown appeared on her face. She didn't want him to stop just yet "Promise me that you will never, ever try to do anything like that… okay? If… If I knew that you died because of me… I'll never forgive myself."

"Hajime…"

"I'll make sure we all make it out of this, okay?" Hajime pressed his forehead against Mikan's own, and she felt herself heating up "Nobody is going to die… I promise…"

Speechless at Hajime's speech, Mikan just stayed there, silently appreciating Hajime's company. For a moment, she allowed herself to dream again. To imagine what life would be like if they were off this island, and living happily together.

They would live in a small house together with two children, a boy and a girl. Every morning, she would wake up in Hajime's embrace as they greeted each other good morning. He would cook the food while she would get the kids ready for school. It would have been a tough battle, since the boy was too hyperactive and would try his best to not go to school. But after a bit of struggling, Mikan would be done and the family of four would eat together.

Hajime would drive them to school before going to his office, softly kissing her forehead and caressing her hair before they part ways. She would then go to work at a hospital, helping patients and treating them with as much love and care as she gave to her husband. When break time came, Hajime would call her and they would talk about whatever happened that day as they ate their lunches. Their co-workers would laugh at the lovey-dovey couple, and Mikan would have the urge to hide in a broom closet for the rest of the day. Hajime would coax her into not doing it, of course.

When Mikan comes home later that night, she would find her daughter reading a book while the son played on his game console. Hajime would greet her, pecking her on the forehead as he laid out the table for dinner. They would talk and eat, while the kids rolled their eyes at their embarrassing parents. After forcing the kids to clean up and finish their homework, the couple would then retreat to their bedroom where they would lie on bed, telling each other their wishes and dreams before falling to sleep.

 _It would never happen._

Mikan tried to suppress that voice again, feeling her emotions going crazy as it laughed maniacally in her mind.

 _The world is dead! You are just in a simulation, after all! How does it feel, to know that your dreams are dead before they could even begin? He will never love you, especially after he finds out everything you did. Remember the despair you felt, Mikan! Remember how much you loved it!_

A strong hand gripped her own, and she felt a finger wipe the tears across her eyes. Hajime smiled at her. He didn't quite understand why Mikan had suddenly started crying, but he wasn't going to let it continue on for long.

"I'll protect you… I promise."

"… Th-Thank you…"

She might not be sure what's real or not anymore. She might be confused whether they even are in a simulation. And she might just be overstepping her bounds by thinking that maybe Hajime would return her feelings if she told him about it. But what she does know was her own heart, and how much she wanted to believe in Hajime.

Maybe one day, that dream will come true after all…


End file.
